Gone

Fall, though it feels like winter, has arrived. It's cold. It's grey and cloudy. The air feels moody and sad.

And I feel so sad, too. My mom just left this morning after a week-long visit. That made me cry. The goodbyes get harder the older she gets. {not to be morbid or anything, just the reality of age and time marching on.}

And Aunt Shirley is getting on a plane at O'Hare in just a few minutes. And that made me cry.

And I just dropped Aunt Bobbie off at Midway and I cried then, too.

And I heard music on the way home from the airport that made me think of Kim and the kids and I prayed and cried through that.

And I got home and read Alice's post about her mother and that made me sob. Really sob. You know the kind where you can hardly catch your breath.

I've had about all the sadness I can handle. I don't want Alice to lose her mother. And that makes me think about my own mother and the fact that I don't want to lose her some day. And I hate that Kim lost her John and the kids lost their daddy.

And I don't want winter to be here. We didn't get enough sunshine and summer this year.

My heart just feels heavy and sad this morning.

I think I'll be putting Jackson in front of a video after lunch so that I can take a little nap. Sleep might be just the thing to get a bit of perspective.

Sigh. Deep breath.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18