2010 Word Of The Year
My 2010 "Word of the Year" is ...
H.O.P.E.
And I need me some HOPE. And the Lord knows that, so I do believe this is the word He wants me to focus on this year. He is the HOPE-GIVER. Left up to me, I have hope for a tiny bit of time, and it quickly fades. Yet God says, in Psalm 62:5 that our HOPE is to come from HIM. He produces HOPE in us.
For whatever reason, I am able to lavish hope on other people. In the midst of whatever they're enduring, I'm an eternal optimist. And I truly believe it. There is HOPE no matter what, and I can see that for others ...
But then there's this weight issue I struggle with daily/hourly {and have for decades if brutal honesty is what we're lookin' for}. And while I can cling to hope for others in their despair, for whatever reason I have never {and I do mean never} been able to muster up hope for myself in this particular area of my life. When setbacks come in other areas of my life, I'm usually up for the challenge and able to see the possibilities. The hope. But not in the weight department. Never.
Yet this thing called weight loss is daunting. It's so huge and overwhelming and impossible. Often I do well for a few days and then bam, I give up because it just doesn't seem possible. Doesn't seem like things will ever change. I look for excuses to give up.
So, leading up to early January, I was, once again, feeling hopeless at the task of losing weight. But I knew that I had to focus on this. It's really more than just a New Year's resolution of losing weight for me. Most every female in the western hemisphere wants that to happen. But for me, it's much bigger than that. MUCH BIGGER.
You see, I've been convicted over the past couple of months that my over-eating really is an area of sin in my life. An area of disobedience. Sounds crazy to some. But the reality is, food had become an idol in my life. Cravings 24-7. I'd gotten out-of-control. I'd just finish one meal and I'd be thinking of what I could eat next. And will power? Non-existent. If I wanted it and it sounded good to me, I'd eat it. {How's that for digging up one's own dirt.} It really was consuming me if you want the bottom line.
I think I'm what you'd call an emotional eater. You know, turning to food when I'm sad. Or mad. Or bored. Or weary and just needing comfort. And also for pleasure. For me, eating out is about the biggest treat I could get, so that doesn't help when what you love to do is enjoy a meal that you don't have to cook. So as you can see, I've got issues! {But you do too, so this isn't self-condemnation - this is just reality check time!}
So the last two weeks of December I cried out to God, asking Him to give me His HOPE in this area of my life. I knew that the first Monday in January would be D-Day and I was totally dreading it. I didn't want to fail, AGAIN. I didn't think it was possible. And yet, I continued to cry out to the Lord, asking Him for help. Asking Him for victory, especially the first week so that I would be encouraged to press on.
I came up with a specific strategy - my 'game plan' so to speak ... just trying to make those sports guys out there that are reading this feel like they're trackin' with my troubles. The strategy you ask?
- portion control {using weight watchers principles}
- drastic decrease of Diet Coke intake
- drastic increase of water intake
- drastic increase of fruit and veggie intake
- 5 times to the gym {or our tread mill at home} per week
- writing down everything I eat so that I become aware of what I'm actually eating
And slowly, as January 4th arrived, I could feel God's hope. He was changing my attitude. He was producing HOPE in me. He was there. I didn't have to do it alone.
And I'm excited to say that this past week has brought huge victory, thanks be to God. He has heard my cry. He is my HOPE.
So all that to say that I'm excited about HOPE - 2010's word of the year. I have lots to learn about it. I want to continue to internalize HOPE, especially in this area of my life and even on those hard days when I don't feel hopeful. Hope is more than a feeling. It's a mind-set. A choice to walk in the HOPE that God offers. I am convinced that God wants us to walk in HOPE. Not becoming defeated by our circumstances. Taking the HOPE He offers one day at at time. {I think my big problem ends up being when I look down the road and think, "Oh mercy, I have so many months ahead of me before I will potentially have this area of my life in control, I don't think it's possible." And yet, God's mercies are new every morning ... there for the taking ...}
It really boils down to a daily surrender thing. Will I chose, TODAY, to be obedient? Will I chose to think properly about food? Will I run to Him when I'm tempted to scarf down a secret cookie {or 5 cookies}? Will I give this battle to Him and let Him fight with me, instead of me fighting solo, and losing?
HOPE. A big word. A word that I want to learn more about this year. I am HOPE-filled at the possibilities of change in my life. But I do know this - changes made this year will only be because of Jesus working in me -because I know all too well that when I try to do it on my own, I fall flat on my {big} bottom.
So there you have it. I'm wondering what area you need HOPE in? Go for it. Ask for HIS help; THE HOPE GIVER.
So this is the "before" me ... Before HOPE stepped in. Before HOPE took over.
I'm anxious to see the "after" me ... After HOPE transforms my mind-set and my emotions. After HOPE gets rid of the food idols in my life. One day at a time. That's how I'm walkin'.