Overwhelmed Part I of Probably 437.

So this Cleanse "detox" program has me overwhelmed. 

VERY.

I'm not a big fan of veggies and fruit to begin with. 

And that's pretty much what I'll be eating for the month of January. 

I do get to eat chicken and lamb for lunch if I so choose. 

(and I've never ever EVER cooked lamb in any form up until now 

because the thought of that just makes me sad because sheep are really cute.) 

But I'm gonna be a big girl and try some new recipes. 

As in ALL new recipes.

Today was the day to do my 'drive-through' of Whole Foods, 

to get a handle on where stuff is, 

buy a bit, 

find a helpful clerk to answer questions. 

Tomorrow I'll be back for round two. 

This time I hope to win.

Found the nicest "mom-aged-fellow-shopper" at the sweet potato bin. 

She passed along her wisdom about the loveliness of a dark red sweet potato, 

also whispering to me that wild blueberries at Mariano's are only 

"two and a quarter" as compared to "four bucks here." 

I ran into her a couple isles over, on a search for coconut flour, 

where she lovingly said, 

"Oh, honey, I see you're still here. You must be finding what you need." 

LITTLE DID SHE KNOW.

I hope I run into her again on future trips. 

Everyone needs a cheerleader. 

She seemed to think I could do this. 

And yes, I did tell her all about the Cleanse and how this was a new thing and all. 

I talk to strangers.

But no, Mum, I don't pick up hitchhikers. 

Safety first.

So I'm what I'd like to call a 'thrifty' gal. 

All about the bargain. 

ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

So imagine the reluctance I felt when I disgustedly put my ugly, 

gnarled ginger root -- that I don't even like the flavour of --

in my bin at the low, low price of $2.99 a pound. 

I might have uttered, out loud, 

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!"

Below, my two -- count them, TWO -- cucumbers were $3.51.  

My ONE onion was $1.53. 

Don't even ask about the avocado. 

One word.

STAGGERING.

So  THAT was one level to my overwhelmedness 

(yes, I just invented a word), 

which was really minor in comparison to the reality check that I was experiencing 

as I blindly pushed my little cart around the store.

Now I'm not gonna lie. 

It's a lovely shopping experience. 

Especially the bakery AND floral departments.

But we all know that's not why I was there. 

Lee Lee doesn't need any more treats, now does she?

Could have camped out both of those places a nice long while.

I was in BIG PICTURE mode. 

For me, the overwhelming piece today was the reality that life as I know it,

 is about to abruptly come to an end.

I know. 

It's all for the good.

I know that I'll hopefully, maybe, develop a taste bud for 

brussel sprouts and butternet squash. 

But in the meantime, 

I don't get to have cereal and milk for brekkie. 

Not junkie cereal I might add. 

We do as healthy as it gets. 

My kids have no idea what Fruit Loops and Coco Puffs are, 

unless you've fed them that crap at your house. 

 So it's not like they're getting garbage over here. 

But they ARE getting convenient. 

We do toast and cereal for breakfast. 

Sammies for lunch. 

And supper is a nice, 

on-the-quicker-side-of-things meal. 

Stir fry. Red meat. Potatoes. Corn. Peas. 

That sort of stuff. 

I AM ALL ABOUT EASY IN THE KITCHEN. 

Slow cooker. My BFF. 

Casseroles. Hallelujah I can get all the prep done and pop it in the oven on a dime. 

EAE --- EASY AND EFFICIENT. 

That is my life goal.
Or should I say WAS my life goal.

I'm about to slow down and become one with my kitchen.

And on a completely BITTER note, 

wouldn't you know that 2 of the 3 veggies that I ACTUALLY like are 

off limits for the month of January. 

Peas and corn. GONE. Too high in sugar or some such nonsense.

Green beans are in but aren't really in because they're out of season and they look terrible -- EVEN at Whole Foods. 

 Back to overwhelming.

When it takes you 10 minutes to FIND that one mystsery ingredient for that special lovely green juicey smoothie cup of horror that I'll be drinking twice a day for 3 weeks, 

it just leaves a girl frazzled. 

Ya know?

I am not gonna lie. 

I was THIS CLOSE TO TEARS walking through the store. 

PATHETIC. 

I know. 

I'm owning my pathetic-ness.

It's just gonna take me a minute to fall in love with healthy eating.

Let's chit-chat about the choices. 

You'd THINK they'd all be appropriate when you're at the 

Big-Daddy of all Healthy grocery stores. 

BUT, that's not true my friend. 

I can spot a lengthy list of ingredients from a mile away and long 

lists of ingredients are not our friends. 

Remember that.

My goal for this month -- and I quote -- is to eat 'as close to the source as possible.' 

Who coined that phrase? 

Shoot them, please.

I was on the hunt for quinoa. 

FINALLY located it, but I had to stop the skinny little chick 

beside me to ask her which of these would be the BEST choice for me 

because I've never eaten quinoa, 

nor can I pronounce it!

She assured me the one in my hands at the time would do, 

but after she scooted her healthy little self on down the aisle 

I put it back because I saw the word 'WHITE' on the front, 

and I think I've read somewhere that white is not your friend 

when you're "eating clean!"

I personally LOVE white and I wish they weren't so mean to white.

White potatoes, which turn into white French fries. LOVELY!

 Or white mashed potatoes. 

White pasta.

White bread. (Not really; I love a good whole grain bread)

But you get the idea. 

White is delightful and it's getting a bad rap in the health food industry.

I'm telling you folks, I've done my research. 

And if you know me at all, I HATE RESEARCH. 

But I did it. 

Because I'm serious about change. 

I need this change in my life. 

This is gonna be a good change for me.

 { I'm giving myself a pep talk right now in case you didn't notice. }

Overwhelmed.

Today was just a little bump in the road. 

Wanted to give up before I started because 

I really don't like the kitchen all that much and I had visions of myself camping out in there, growing old, while I peel my veggies and crunch on raw celery. 

 

OH wait. 

I won't be peeling, 

because I'VE learned that so many nutrients reside in the peel. 

See. 

I'm a wealth of knowledge these days. 

Stick with me.

It'll get easier after the three-week-cleanse. I've just gotta push through.

And I won't be eating raw celery. 

Because THAT is disgusting. 

Now mind you, my mama done spoke and told me 

that I need to try one bite every time I see it so that eventually I'll like it. 

I'm in my forties and she's still trying to be my mama. 

I had every notion to return her Christmas present after she shared that 

little nugget 'o wisdom, but I refrained. 

After all, she did give birth to me, 

so I suppose I'll listen to her on this one. 

She's probably right.

She usually is.

Soon enough, once I get a handle on some of the basics, 

I'll be back to my plucky self and will figure out where to get good, 

organic food at a  fraction of the cost, 

but for now, it'll be Whole Foods, 

until that blasted overwhelmedness goes away.

And if you wonder what $112 bucks looks like ... 

here you go.