The Art of Being Reasonable | Here's What I'm Not Saying

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, 

clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, 

humility, gentleness and patience. 

Bear with each other and forgive one another 

if any of you has a grievance against someone. 

Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 

And over all these virtues put on love, 

which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, 

since as members of one body you were called to peace. 

And be thankful.

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach 

and admonish one another with all wisdom 

through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, 

singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, 

do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, 

giving thanks to God the Father through him.” 

Colossians 3:12-17

While all are welcome to read this post,

and you may or may not agree with all/parts of it,

my intended audience is those that 

identify as Christ-followers;
all of us that say we love Jesus,

from the left to the right.

I’d love to have a heart-to-heart, if I may.

For years now I have chosen to sit back,

quietly mystified and deeply saddened by what I’ve observed on all the sides. 

The far right. The far left. Liberal. Conservative. Democrat. Republican. 

People are screaming and sniping at each other through the internet and it’s alarming. 

Very alarming. 

What is saddest to me, however, 

is when I see Christians letting their anger and fear 
and need to be right at all costs 

seep out sideways, vomiting all over social media.

We are, quite frankly, out of our minds. 

We as a Christian culture (and a secular culture, too) 

have lost the ability to be reasonable. 

We jump to conclusions without giving the benefit of the doubt. 

We throw years of what we know about someone right out the window 

when they say it wrong or differently than we would say it. 

We surround ourselves with only thoughts that support our case. 

We take someone’s mistakes and crucify them. 

Grace? What’s that? 

We dig our heels in with pride and refuse to listen to the other. 

Somehow along the way we lost the ability to have a conversation with people 

we don’t agree with or don’t understand. 

If someone doesn’t think exactly like us 

or land on the same square inch as us on this issue or that, 

then they must not be saved. 

We aren’t able to sit in the quiet middle and humbly listen 
and learn from the other 

without feeling threatened and defensive. 

We have lost the ability to be reasonable.

We are regularly over-reacting and it’s ugly, friends. 

So ugly. 

No wonder the world wants nothing to do with Jesus.

So I thought it might be helpful to step back for a minute and 

explain some of the things that I’m not saying 

in an effort to explain what I actually am saying. 

My hope is that by expressing these ideas it might help 

remove fear out of what you’re hearing from your 

Christian brothers and sisters of color 

and from those of us that have a desire to address 
the elephant in the room 

in our mostly-white churches. 

Here’s what I know for sure. 

If we as churches don’t address the issues around us, 

we are missing opportunities to share the love of Jesus, 

and isn’t that what we’re supposed to be all about? 

Sharing the love of Jesus? 

I think we can do better friends. 

As Colossians 3 states, 

let’s get dressed up with compassion and kindness, 

humility, gentleness and patience.

Here goes.

When I share a thought or an idea that resonates with me, 

I’m not saying 

I have all the answers. 

I don’t. 

And I never will. 

And if I may be so bold, you don’t either. 

But I’m willing to start using my voice for the benefit of others. 

I want to listen and learn from our friends of color. 

I’m no longer willing to be silent, 
because God calls me to 

act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with him. 

He calls you to the same. 

There has been a collective cry for us to actively listen and participate 

in the unjust treatment of people of color in America 

and as people that love Jesus, 

I don’t think we’ve done that well.

When I state that we must address racism 

I’m not saying 

that there is a simple answer to racism. 

It is SO complex. 

And SO layered. 
And nuanced.

There is significant work to be done in addressing the complexities. 

But if we love Jesus, 

we should each be asking ourselves how we can individually

and collectively, as a body of believers, 

join in the call for justice for our friends of color. 

This doesn’t need to be scary. 

It does need to be loving.

When I share stories of how race affects those of color differently 

than it does me and my white son 

I’m not saying 

that I haven’t had hard things in my life. 

What I am saying is that I haven’t had hard things in my life 

because of the color of my skin. 

You can read my recent post here that speaks more to this point.

When I choose to listen intently to the black voice in this season 

I’m not saying 

that our white voice isn’t important or needed. 

What I am saying is that it is time we sat back and listened. 

And learned. 

And lamented. 

Could we be loving and do that for our friends of color? 

Couldn’t that be a beautiful move toward healing? 

Isn’t that what Jesus would want us to do?

When I agree with a statement or like a post or share a story 

I’m not saying 

that I agree with everything everyone is saying out there. 

We are all currently drinking from a fire hose, 

which is why we need Biblical wisdom and discernment on the voices we listen to. 

Which is exactly why our churches need to be talking about this. 

Here’s my advice. 

Be careful the organizations you follow. 

Be careful what you base your opinions on. 

If you love Jesus, 
make sure your conclusions line up squarely 

with God’s design of justice as outlined in the Bible, 
cover to cover. 

Books are great. 

Podcasts are fantastic. 

Videos are moving. 

Bottom line? 

Does it line up with Scripture?

The whole of Scripture and not just the parts we like.

I’ll give you a personal example. 

The first Saturday after George Floyd’s murder there was a protest staged for Chicago. 

We wanted to go. We planned to go. 

And then we did our homework at the 11^th hour and realized 

that the rhetoric and tone taken by the particular organization 

that was organizing that protest was not something we wanted to join. 

We chose not to go and quite frankly, 

the event turned into a disastrous affair. 

However, three days later, 

when we were invited by faith leaders in the Bronzeville community 

to attend a peaceful protest 

we knew we were to go. 

And it was a beautiful, peaceful evening. 

If you’d like to hear more about my experience at that protest

you can follow this link.

I think I jump into the conversation at about the one-hour mark. https://www.facebook.com/SouthParkChurch/videos/650447115508423/

I attended a protest. 

I’m not saying 

that violence and looting is okay. 

It is never okay. 

Hatred is never the answer. 

Nor is violence. 

I am for peaceful protests and against riots and violent protests. 

I attended a peaceful protest on purpose. 

To join my voice with the cries of the Black faith community in Chicago. 

We were invited to go and in an effort to show support we went. 

A friend of mine, 
who happens to be white and raising black boys, 

shared a list of reform that has happened within 
the last 10 days of sustained protesting. 

While this is only a start, 

what it says to me is that by lending our voices, 

change can begin to happen. 
Hopefully lasting change.

And isn’t that what we ultimately want? 

We don’t want our friends of color to feel less than, 

to receive unequal treatment, 

to be the recipients of racism. 

Do we?

No. 

I don't think any of us reading these words 

want unequal treatment because of skin color.

So what has current protesting accomplished?

For sake of time, 
here are just a few things that have been accomplished

within 10 days of sustained protesting around our country:

*Minneapolis bans use of choke holds

*Dallas adopts a "duty to intervene" rule that requires

officers to stop other cops who are engaging in inappropriate use of force

*New Jersey's attorney general said the state will

update its use-of-force guidelines for the first time in two decades

*In Maryland, a bipartisan work group of state lawmakers

announced a police reform work group.

This is good. 

We need reform.

When I say that black lives matter 

I’m not saying 

that only black lives matter. 

What I am saying is that right now, 

our black brothers and sisters need us to lend our voices 

to their cries for mercy and justice, 

fighting alongside them for equality and justice in their communities 

and on their behalf.

I’ve heard lots of analogies and the one that touches me most is this: 

Wouldn’t it be super insensitive if I mentioned that 
my dad has Stage IV colon cancer 

– which he does –

and the person listening said, 

“Ya, but all cancers are important, Alysa. 
Not just colon cancer.” 

When I say “Black Lives Matter” I’m not saying that unborn babies lives don’t matter. 

I’m not saying white lives don’t matter. 

What I’m saying is that black lives actually matter, too. 

And if we are intentionally listening, 

we would continue to hear, time and time again, 

that when we say “All Lives Matter” when they say “Black Lives Matter” 

it is offensive and hurtful to our friends of color. 

I think the very least we could do is choose to agree, 

that yes, black lives matter. 

Period. 

No qualifier needed. 

And, when I say “Black Lives Matter” 

what I’m not saying 

is that I agree with everything that organization stands for. 

I don’t, which is why it’s so important for each of us to do our homework.

When I say that black lives matter 

I’m not saying 

that police lives don’t matter. 

Police lives matter too. 

What I’m saying is that there is sin and corruption in our criminal justice system 

and it does need reform. 

I know so many great police officers 

and I can say black lives matter and so do the lives of police officers. 

It isn’t an either/or. 

It’s a both/and. 

We have to move past this fallacy that if I say one thing 

it automatically means that I’m against the other. 

This isn’t an ‘us versus them’ mentality. 

We can do both. 

Those statements are not mutually exclusive. 

We can be for the police AND for black lives. 

We need to ensure that accountability is in place 

so that police brutality at the hands of bad cops no longer happens. 

It needs to stop and it’s okay to state that and move in the direction of healthy reform.

I’m not saying 

that defunding the police is the answer.

I think the term ‘defunding’ is a loaded, 

unhelpful word in this conversation. 

By definition, defund means 

"to prevent from continuing to receive funds."

Chris Truax states that "In its literal form,

defunding the police would be a colossal disaster for the very

people it aims to help.

If you want to eliminate the police,

it won't be the folks in Beverly Hills who suffer.

They'll just hire private protection.

Instead, it will be the most vulnerable who will bear the brunt of 

the missing services that police officers now provide."

I think a healthy and balanced stance would be that reform is needed 

in a lot of our systems in America. 

Our educational system. 

Our political system. 

Our criminal justice system. 

Our food source systems for communities of color. 

Even today in America, 

Sunday morning is still the most segregated hour each week. 

That shouldn’t be, friends.

Our faith systems need reform, too, 

which is why I think this conversation on Biblical justice 

is necessary and timely.

If someone uses the term social justice 

they’re not necessarily saying 

they are for socialism. 

They might be. Or they might not be.

For some reason, 

our evangelical community gloms onto words 

we don’t like and that’s all we focus on 
and we simply can’t get past the label. 

I see it regularly. 

Here’s the deal. 

Call it social justice. 

Call it activism. 

Call it whatever you want. 

Here’s what I call it to avoid scaring those that have a hard time 

with the words social and justice put together in the same sentence. 

Biblical Justice. 

It’s justice God’s way, 

by God’s design 

and in God’s time. 

And God’s time you ask? 

I think is right now. 

Was actually yesterday 

and forever years ago. 

Let’s step into the 
flow of God’s extravagant love 
and work toward His 
justice for all. 

This isn’t radical. 

This isn’t far left. 

This is Gospel truth right down the middle. 

And I am telling you, 

it’s a major theme from cover to cover in the Bible. 

Don’t let the label “Social Justice” derail you 
from seeing God’s heart for the marginalized. 

Believe the best about those you love that are using a term you don’t like. 

Ask them questions and I think that in the end 

you’ll see that you actually might be on the same page.

If I’m caring deeply about current events 

what I’m not saying or doing 

is getting swept up in a news cycle or a current situation. 

I’ve been on this path to justice for a long time now 

but I have felt God’s call this spring 
to become vocal about standing against racism. 

I feel that lending my voice to the cry of the African American population 

is the right thing to do. 

And that can look wildly different for me than it does for you. 

And that’s okay. 

But please don’t judge those of us that are stepping into the messy 

and doing our best to listen and learn.

We'll get it wrong at times; 

I'm confident of that.

We haven’t all of a sudden gone off the deep end 

and my degree from Moody Bible Institute is still valid.

I promise.

By sharing what I’m doing, 

I’m not saying 

that you must do as I do. 

What I am saying is that if we say we love Jesus, 

wouldn’t it be transformative if we all did our part? 

Our own next steps?

Not comparing one to the other? 

Could we each be part of the healing process in our land? 

In our circles of influence? 

Could we put our faith into tangible action to right the wrongs we see?

And could this be Biblical and not excused away as liberal?

Sisters and brothers, 

I know this feels scary to many,
for a variety of reasons,

but the reality is, 

we need to be on the right side of history on this
and I believe it’s time for our excuses to stop. 

Yes, we’re hearing conflicting messages about 
what we should and shouldn’t do 

and should and shouldn’t say. 

Try anyway. 

And when we get it wrong, 

ask for forgiveness. 

I was deeply saddened this week that Louis Giglio was crucified 

for his poor choice of words on Sunday. 

His words weren't a good choice.

BUT ...

He tried.

And he messed up. 
And he apologized.

He was trying 

and my prayer is that he’ll keep trying even though 

if I were him I’d want to say, 

“Screw it. I’m all done! 

Damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

So why even bother.” 

Here’s a statement of his apology from late last evening: 

“I am deeply sorry for the pain and confusion I have caused 

by my comment this past Sunday. 

I’ve never in my life thought there was 

any blessing in slavery. 

That thought is repulsive. 

I am grieved that what I said did not communicate 

or align with what I truly believe.

White people often too quickly dismiss the reality that America 

was largely built on the dehumanization of black people. 

'These dismissals miss that reality. 

I failed at an honest attempt to start a conversation 

with my fellow white brothers and sisters 

to see the reality of our white privilege. 

For the many who want to brush the concept of white privilege aside, 

this acknowledgment is an important step 

toward engaging the conversation.

“I am planning to continue 

and will make more of a concentrated effort to learn, 

understand, 

stay engaged

and to be a part of all of us moving forward together 

to the place that God wants us to be.”

Friends, 

this is messy, 

hard work. 

And that’s okay. 

We can do hard things, yes? 

We need to be living out James 1:19 in profound ways. 

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” 

We must pour on grace like it’s gasoline on a campfire. 

The Light of Jesus should be shining SO brightly right now 

and I’m afraid our lack of ability to be reasonable in conversation 

is destroying the unity of believers. 

We have The Hope, friends. 

Let’s lean into this conversation.

Let's not live from a place of fear,

rather let's ask God for wisdom in what our part might be 

in loving others well. 

In loving our brothers and sisters of color. 

Let’s "let our lights shine before others,

that they will see our good deeds

and glorify our Father in heaven."

Matthew 5:16