Happy Square Root Day
Math. Not my favorite. Never has been. And twice, in the last 24 hours I've been thrown, unaware, into the heart of math crap, er, stuff.
This morning, it was a perfectly good Tuesday, and while listening to the radio, the announcer just threw in there, that it was, indeed "Square Root Day." Did you know that only happens NINE times in a century. And did you know that 3x3=9? And that 9 divided by 3 is 3? Like I care, people. Just play the music, would ya? I'm never turning that station on again. Never. I can't handle math at 8:30 in the morning.
And then last night I was helping Maddie do her homework and out came the math worksheet. Let me remind you that she is in FIRST GRADE.
And then I saw it. There it was. The very last question.
And then it happened. Flashbacks of junior high math. Panic set in. Perspiration was beading. I was about to vomit. I was tempted to cheat. You've GOT to be kidding me. There, mixed in with the addition questions was a WORD PROBLEM.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. They didn't tell me about this when I signed up to be a parent. OH, and did I mention ----- Maddie is in FIRST GRADE. This absolutely cannot be happening. Wake up from the bad dream. Wake up, Alysa.
So picture this with me. I stopped. Gained my composure {Well, not really}. Leaned in close. And began to ever-so-slowly read the problem out loud. {Simply too hard to do in the head.} And as we came to a new piece of information we put it in the proper spot. And then, about 30 minutes later, we were able to figure out how much more money Chris had than Jane and where Lisa got lost on the train going 30 miles the opposite direction at 110 miles per hour.
I'm officially handing over math homework to Jack. I simply cannot handle that stress in my day. Adding, yes. Subtracting, okay. Word Problems. HECK NO. She'll fail math before I ruin my life starting in on those again. I DID MY TIME. I graduated from high school, college, and graduate school. I am officially delegating first grade math to Jack. Sorry dude. I'll do the spelling, the reading and even the science. But I cannot. No, I will not, do the math.
And, while looking into the camera, holding my head up high, I hereby state that, "America, I am NOT smarter than a first grader! At least when it comes to word problems!"