Maddie's First Day of School {2009}

Maddie started 2nd grade today. At her new school. {her hair is pulled back, not cut off}

She was so BRAVE. She was excited and nervous about not having any friends, but she kept saying that she had one friend. Benji, the school bunny rabbit. And, we have a bag of carrots packed for her to bring to Benji tomorrow. She does love animals.

I kept it together for quite awhile. The crowds had amassed by the time we arrived so when we found her 'line' we quickly spotted Erika and said hello. And then we moved on down the line and another lady said hello and introduced us to her daughter. So kind. We must have 'looked' new.

And then before long they had the kids file into the big school. So we marched along with her, until large school security guard "Joe" stopped us and said we couldn't go in any further. He said he'd make sure Maddie got down to her class and off she went. We really didn't even get to say goodbye.

So I promptly burst into tears {again, behind sunglasses, but I think the heaving shoulders gave it away this time}. So another, somewhat smaller security guard, whom I shall call 'kind man', said, "Oh, go on down with her, what can it hurt. Or something along those lines. So we did just that.

We rushed to catch up but by that time she was already in her class, in her seat, putting things into her big-girl desk. We peaked in, said, "Bye, Maddie," and turned and walked away.

I imagine the build up to this day was significant in my mind. Here we had moved her to another school, again ... and I was just afraid for my sweet little girl. She was so quiet as we stood in line waiting for the school bell to ring. Her way of showing nervousness. So not like our Maddie. So my heart was heavy thinking that she had to face this big bad giant all alone when Mr. Joe made us stay behind.

But the reality is, as I often remind myself, kids are resilient, they bounce back quite well, and she'll be just fine. But in the meantime, this mama wanted to curl up and sob as she walked away, all by herself, without us to guide her down the hall. I didn't even get to give her a goodbye hug. I think I probably needed it more than she did.

I caught myself praying for her constantly, all day long, so I could hardly wait until the end of the school day.

She came out the big doors, down the steps, and into our arms, just as happy as could be. She said she had a great day. She loves her teacher. She had fun!

And somehow she managed just fine. Without us.

Go figure.

Tomorrow will be a much easier day.