Creative Dreams.

Okay, so this is a fun secret that I've been waiting to tell. But I wanted to make sure it was actually going to happen before telling.

And it did.

So here goes. {I don't want to share it to toot my own horn. I just wanna share it because it's something exciting to me and it's part of this journey I'm on.}

Do you remember when my friend Julie took pictures of my friend Alice's mother and her children back this fall? {Check here and here for reminders.}

Well, after Julie took those pictures I felt compelled to scrapbook them as a gift for Alice's girls. Just had to. {Click here for more.}

And so, Alice, who works for the magazine "Significant Living" emailed a couple of months ago and asked if they could feature the scrapbooks in an article in the magazine.

WHAT???? No way. Of course. Okay. Wow. I mean, really? My stuff? In a real magazine. My scrapbook pages in print.

And so began this quiet excitement of wondering if it would happen. Didn't want to get the hopes up. Because it hurts too bad to get the hopes up and then have them dashed to smithereens. There's that word again. Hope.

And so the little journey began. I got the call for the phone interview in February, while Julie got the phone call to go out and photograph her photographs for the magazine. Metaphotography is what I think my smart friend Melissa called it. She's so good with words, that girl.

And so, tonight we had a little birthday party for Julie and in walks Julie and she says she has something she thinks I might like. A copy of the magazine. No way. It's in print. In the newsstands. And she brought me a copy.

The party is over and I'm sitting here at home just thankful. I can hardly wait until morning to show Jack. {Girls night out with Kristin, Julie and Melissa went way past his bedtime.}

I've actually had this post mulling around in my head for some time now; even had the title picked out. Creative Dreams. I love to dream. Always have. Always will. And I would so love to somehow make creativity part of my daily life. That's been one of my big dreams. I love creating. I love scrapbooking. But the reality is, you just can't make any money scrapbooking. {Who knows, maybe rich chicks in NYC would be willing to pay the money to get a fancy scrapbook for their special family member. Who knows. Probably not.}

But I'm beginning to see that perhaps I don't need to make money. Perhaps the greatest fulfillment of making a scrapbook is the joy it brings to the recipient. To know they are loved. And treasured. And beautiful. And significant.

So for now, I'll just continue to scrapbook because I love it. It brings great joy. The creative process brings such rich fulfillment. I really can't explain the satisfaction felt when a page is completed. Words. Pictures. Embellishments. Texture. Design. And who knows where this love of creating will lead. Maybe nowhere. Or somewhere. But in the meantime I will be content in the moment. Creating gifts that capture memories through words and photographs.

So tonight I read the article written about Alice's mother, and my life is so much the richer for having her in it. She is one amazing woman who has lived life well. She has lived a life that pleases God. And it won't be too many more days before she arrives in Heaven where I am CONFIDENT she will hear her Saviour say, "Well done sweet servant of mine. You have been a good and faithful and loving and gracious and kind and gentle servant."

My palms are face up and tonight I'm saying, "Lord, you made me this way, use me to encourage others and to give you glory, if that's what You'd like."

I also wanted to share a little background to this whole magazine article.

So when I was up in Canada in February I was feeling sorry for myself. Just feeling like I'm a jack-of-all-trades and master of none. Just feeling like I can do a lot of things well but I'm not just to.the.moon.amazing in any one area. I started playing that comparing game. Dangerous game that is. You know, Julie just soaring with her photography skills and giftings. She's this amazing artist. And then Alice is so amazing with words and is this author in the making. I swear. Someday I will have an autographed copy of her first book and I hope the book is dedicated to me with something like, "To the friend who always said I would be published some day." I mean, she's amazing. The emotions she evokes in her blog alone blow my mind. So I sat there thinking, "See, Alice is amazing at that." And I'm not amazing at anything. Blah.

Just.feeling.sorry.for.little.ole.me. That's all.

I don't know - I just went down the path of comparison and discontent and woe.is.me and all of a sudden Alice and I began instant messengering and I just shared that with her. {She's such a safe friend - nothing I've said has ever taken her by surprise - and she always retorts with just the right wise thing to say.} And so, I want you to go over here, to her blog, right now and read this post - because she shares our IM conversation. So go, read. And then come back here to finish this up.

Alice is just one of those refreshing friends that brings the important things back into focus. I mean, didn't you love what her mom told her: My mom gave me this great advice. She said, "What do you have in your hand?' and all Moses had was his staff. Give your dreams to God, and let Him do what He will with them. You can trust Him."

So that was the first conversation. And then shortly after that I was emailing my friend Julie and was telling her about my creative dreams. And rather than trying to remember exactly what I was thinking at the time, I think I'll just cut and paste some of our conversation back and forth so you can see where I was at:

I wrote {feb. 24}: "I am so excited to see if this creative adventure is about to begin. Just last week I was just like, “Lord, my palms are open, with my scrapbooking dreams and I’m giving them to you. You’re the one that made me with a passion for it. So I give it to You and You use it how you feel it would best give YOU the glory.” I still keep thinking, but there’s just no way I could make any money scrapbooking … but, maybe that’s not God’s point. Maybe I don’t need to get money to work … maybe I just continue to give gifts to people, which I absolutely LOVE to do … and maybe that’s how God gets the glory – by people feeling loved and cherished…. I don’t know – I’m so tired of trying to figure it out. I feel like my entire adult life has been wanting to be an entrepreneur of sorts but yet never really knowing what that might be. I mean, at one point in the past I wanted to run a bed and breakfast (and believe me, I still would love to do that!) … to a bookstore, to a creative adventure … so who knows. Oh, I know – GOD KNOWS!!!! So today I’m just resting in HIS knowledge of my future and my creative dreams."

And then Julie responded with these perfect words: "... Keep on pursuing your heart's desire Alysa - because it's God who put it there. God has finally opened the door for me in the realm of photography - an area I never thought I would be "good enough" for. I would admire photographers and think ... that could never be me. God is so so good!! Rest in knowing that your hearts desire is his too and He will open doors that you never could ... like get published in a magazine! Don't give up ... pursue and pray and rest."

And so, we'll see. I love Julie's words.
Pursue.
Pray.
Rest.

Tricky to practice. But I'm up for the challenge.

I do sit here tonight thinking, "Lord, help me to just be content with each day. To carpe diem for You. Not me."

I wonder. I dream. I pursue. And pray. And tonight, I am resting in God's goodness. He knows my heart. He made me this way.

And I can trust Him. Always.