Photography Class
Oh boy. I just jumped in and I'm SO excited. And somewhat NERVOUS, too. Totally wondering what God is up to.
I just clicked "okay" to a basics of photography type class - learning the technical stuff that has been an intimidation to me. But here's what I think. If I passed Grade 13 Physics with Dr. Austerberry, the meanest teacher on the face of the planet {I didn't say I passed with an "A" - it was more in the "C" sphere} ... then I can learn a camera, RIGHT?
I'm already enjoying this ride. One successful photo shoot under my belt. A couple more in the works. Class starts Wednesday. {It's an online class.} I've been bringing my camera everywhere, just snapping and watching for light {because my smart friend Julie, who takes amazing pictures, tells me that is the key to photography and dog-gone-it I believe her!}
So NOW is the time. If this dream is going to happen then I need to get on the move ... and so I just took the first big step.
I've been thinking about why I'm nervous about this. I'm not usually the nervous type. And yet I think for me, I've been dreaming for a couple of decades about my own business. I'm serious - I've wanted to do something on my own for SO long. I've wondered what I could do to bring in money doing something I love as opposed to just a J-O-B {Hans family, that was for you - inside joke!} What I could do that would be creative. What I could do that I would enjoy and be passionate about. What I could do that could bring in money to save for kids college and money to simply give away.
And now, when I'm starting to creep through the doors of possibility I think I'm afraid to fail. Perhaps it's a pride thing? The thought of trying this and maybe starting a business and maybe trying to make it happen and then it not actually happening is sort of, well, scary.
And I know you'll all love me no matter what, and I've had so much positive affirmation in this, and that's so awesome ... and yet, I guess for me, if I try and fail I'll be letting myself down ... and that's scary. But you know, it's okay too. I get that. Just being real I suppose.
There's another part of me that also feels like, "Wow, there are a million great photographers out there so what makes me think that I've got this incredible eye or potential to be great." Because the reality is, I'm not into mediocre {I actually despise mediocrity if truth be told} and I'd rather not do something if it's not going to be done excellently. That's sort of always been my philosophy on just about everything.
Bottom line. I'm stepping out and trying. And that feels really good. And somewhat scary. But I can no longer keep dreaming and wishing and hoping and thinking ... I need to give this a go and see where it leads. And the reality is I am confident in my eye and skills. I do think I can do it and I do think I can be really good at it. And truly, it really is 80% excitement and just 20% nervousness. And I suppose having some nerves is a good thing ... at least I think I heard that somewhere along the line.
{oh, and please don't misinterpret this post as my desire for everyone to write in and tell me they think I'm great. I'm really writing it more as a way to capture the journey of my thoughts, as my dreams and the reality of making a longtime dream come true collide.}
I feel a little bit like this tree below.
I just clicked "okay" to a basics of photography type class - learning the technical stuff that has been an intimidation to me. But here's what I think. If I passed Grade 13 Physics with Dr. Austerberry, the meanest teacher on the face of the planet {I didn't say I passed with an "A" - it was more in the "C" sphere} ... then I can learn a camera, RIGHT?
I'm already enjoying this ride. One successful photo shoot under my belt. A couple more in the works. Class starts Wednesday. {It's an online class.} I've been bringing my camera everywhere, just snapping and watching for light {because my smart friend Julie, who takes amazing pictures, tells me that is the key to photography and dog-gone-it I believe her!}
So NOW is the time. If this dream is going to happen then I need to get on the move ... and so I just took the first big step.
I've been thinking about why I'm nervous about this. I'm not usually the nervous type. And yet I think for me, I've been dreaming for a couple of decades about my own business. I'm serious - I've wanted to do something on my own for SO long. I've wondered what I could do to bring in money doing something I love as opposed to just a J-O-B {Hans family, that was for you - inside joke!} What I could do that would be creative. What I could do that I would enjoy and be passionate about. What I could do that could bring in money to save for kids college and money to simply give away.
And now, when I'm starting to creep through the doors of possibility I think I'm afraid to fail. Perhaps it's a pride thing? The thought of trying this and maybe starting a business and maybe trying to make it happen and then it not actually happening is sort of, well, scary.
And I know you'll all love me no matter what, and I've had so much positive affirmation in this, and that's so awesome ... and yet, I guess for me, if I try and fail I'll be letting myself down ... and that's scary. But you know, it's okay too. I get that. Just being real I suppose.
There's another part of me that also feels like, "Wow, there are a million great photographers out there so what makes me think that I've got this incredible eye or potential to be great." Because the reality is, I'm not into mediocre {I actually despise mediocrity if truth be told} and I'd rather not do something if it's not going to be done excellently. That's sort of always been my philosophy on just about everything.
Bottom line. I'm stepping out and trying. And that feels really good. And somewhat scary. But I can no longer keep dreaming and wishing and hoping and thinking ... I need to give this a go and see where it leads. And the reality is I am confident in my eye and skills. I do think I can do it and I do think I can be really good at it. And truly, it really is 80% excitement and just 20% nervousness. And I suppose having some nerves is a good thing ... at least I think I heard that somewhere along the line.
{oh, and please don't misinterpret this post as my desire for everyone to write in and tell me they think I'm great. I'm really writing it more as a way to capture the journey of my thoughts, as my dreams and the reality of making a longtime dream come true collide.}
I feel a little bit like this tree below.
On the verge of blooming. {Excited.}
Standing tall in the hopes of what lay ahead. {Hopeful}
Sinking my roots deep down in God, knowing that He gave me creativity and enjoyment for photography. {Prayerful}
Ready to grow. Ready for the changing season. {Determined}
And hoping that some big bad bird doesn't come along and poop on my branches! {Nervous}
