Today.
{Prickly}.That's how I feel today. Just wasted my one and only hour of alone time running to different stores to do one errand ... both places didn't have what I needed. Waste.of.time.
And I hate wasting time. I don't like inefficiency. I don't like unproductivity.
By the time I was walking out of the second store I had tears welling up in my eyes. And that doesn't seem right. I mean, it's just a stupid errand. Shouldn't frustrate me like that.
Which makes me realize that I'm over-tired. Didn't sleep well Friday, Saturday or Sunday nights. Mr. P has arrived and that always makes me deeply weary.
And so here I sat with just a few minutes of alone time and I knew what I needed. To fill up on the only thing that could be an encouragement in the moment. God.
So I dropped to my knees, cried as I prayed and asked God to turn the day around. After all, I don't want to be prickly today. I want to have joy in the midst of the weariness. I want to have kindness and patience instead of sharpness and irritation and impatience.
And so I found myself in John 15 ... I love this chapter. One of my favorites in the Bible. Jesus says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If {Alysa} remains in me and I in her, she will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you, Alysa. NOW REMAIN IN MY LOVE. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this SO THAT MY JOY MAY BE IN YOU AND THAT YOUR JOY MAY BE COMPLETE {emphasis mine}."
And so I picked myself up off the living room floor, wiped the dust off my sweats and thanked God for the challenge to remain in Him today ... so that my joy would be in Him ... and not in my circumstances.
Just so happened that I prayed for joy even amidst our circumstances with Maddie on the way to school this morning. Hmmm. Maybe God is trying to get my attention, too.
And so, while the day started out prickly, with God's help and strength and with my determination to remain in Him, I'm prayerful that the rest of the day will turn out like this ...
Rest-filled. Hope-ful. Gentle. Loving. Patient. Kind. Tender-hearted. Compassionate.